Winter quarter began! Ambitions, new tenacity and motivation

SOTD: Siouxsie and the Banshees - "She's a Carnival"

Days 13-50/100

Over winter break (Dec. 12-Jan. 7), I read every chapter that was covered in CHEM& 161 (general chem 1) and updated my notes up to chapter 5, as well as did practice problems from the textbook. I haven't looked at the notes for chapters 6 and 7 yet... and I'm unsure of when I'll be able to do that. Maybe between quarters? All this to prepare for CHEM& 162, just to see that a lot of it wasn't necessary. That said, I'm still glad I did.

Anyway, for new years... I am more motivated than usual. And I have no idea why. I feel especially motivated to make 2026 a successful year, and I have a lot riding on it; high school graduation, my 18th birthday, DMV licensing exam, my first car, SAT, ACT, getting my associates in bio, transferring to Western, my first job (hopefully)... it will be tough, BUT I will make it through. I am also contemplating changing my major at Western to something more specific than general biology. Biomedical sciences or biochemistry, most likely. I may have to rethink my minor in criminology, since my parents are going to be paying for it until I can actually get hired anywhere.

Right before the quarter began, I watched "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind," and it was great. The art was amazing, Nausicaa's kindness (and her distress the ONE time she chooses not to be kind) broke me, and same with when she helped the Ohm that was bleeding out and her clothes get stained with it's blood.. and the music is beautiful. I see it as a movie about empathy and war. I skimmed "The Art of Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind" and it's always fun to see sketches and concept art, no matter what the outcome was. 

Classes began on January 7th, and this has proven to be a TOUGH quarter. My biology professor is so terribly disorganized, and while I can tell she is passionate, her score on RateMyProfessor is abysmally, appropriately low. Exam 1 was a disaster. I got an 80%. I have also had an exam every week of the quarter so far (2 exams in chemistry already with a third one coming up, 1 exam in biology and another in 2 weeks, a German exam next week...). I have also been applying to a bunch of scholarships, like the Baccalaureate Scholarship (BaS). Yesterday, I also found a really promising scholarship for queer folks in STEM, but that application closed on January 9th, so... shame on me for not finding it sooner, I guess.

Though my science classes (bio in particular) are difficult, I am still very motivated to keep at it because my physics professor from last year (the day after I withdrew from her course) urged me to still go into the sciences because, according to her, I have a real knack for it. Nicest thing a professor has ever said to my face (especially after what I would consider a failure), and I will remember it forever.

Besides classes running me ragged, I have managed to find time to begin re-watching BoJack Horseman in its entirety, for like... the 5th or 6th time. I will find time to gush about this show soon (not until I finish it! I only have 6 episodes left). It is so fantastically written, and it takes my breath away every time I (re)watch it.

I would also like to, very soon, begin reading Nabokov's Invitation to a Beheading and to get back into drawing and general art. I love creating, but I rarely find the time or will to do so anymore. I adore all forms of art!! Cinematography, dance, music, stories, poems, illustration, painting, sculptures... it's all so wonderful.